Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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