you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
how drunk are you?
Several
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize