Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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