I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
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he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
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So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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