What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
