If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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