Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My vagina is very pro this idea
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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