He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize