There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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