Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
