I am in a vortex of obligation.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
