All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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