whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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