No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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