I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
