so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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