what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
