And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
