Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
