i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
