i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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