It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
