My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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