Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
