Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
