the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Im part way to drunk.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
