just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
