I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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