my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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