Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
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I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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