Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
