i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
