U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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