Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He did a backflip because drugs
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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