your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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