I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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