woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
