I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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