Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
