You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
