I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
