seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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