hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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