Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize