No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
