Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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