Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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