You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize