Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
