You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Farmville is her only friend.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
