i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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