yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
