no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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