In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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