My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
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Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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