He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
