We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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