im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
