god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I love having hate sex.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
