i jhust puked up my retainher.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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