so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
