some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
