lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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