I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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