Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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