i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
